‘for women who are ‘difficult’ to love’ by warsan shire

you are a horse running alone
and he tries to tame you
compares you to an impossible highway
to a burning house
says you are blinding him
that he could never leave you
forget you
want anything but you
you dizzy him, you are unbearable
every woman before or after you
is doused in your name
you fill his mouth
his teeth ache with memory of taste
his body just a long shadow seeking yours
but you are always too intense
frightening in the way you want him
unashamed and sacrificial
he tells you that no man can live up to the one who
lives in your head
and you tried to change didn’t you?
closed your mouth more
tried to be softer
prettier
less volatile, less awake
but even when sleeping you could feel
him travelling away from you in his dreams
so what did you want to do love
split his head open?
you can’t make homes out of human beings
someone should have already told you that
and if he wants to leave
then let him leave
you are terrifying
and strange and beautiful
something not everyone knows how to love.

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So I’ve been away for a while…

…because I’ve essentially been busy performing a big control, alt, delete on my life. My last post was made 5 days before my long-term partner left me. Since then, I’ve moved into a new house with my friends, relocated my beloved malamute, Angel, back down to live with my parents in Kent, and have been working hard on putting myself back together after such a huge personal tragedy. I went through some hard times over this period, but after a few difficult months I have found myself in the midst of the best times of my life. Sometimes you have to let one door close to let a better one open.

Here’s some stuff I’ve been up to since October.

I got myself a new job in a health food shop, where we sell beautiful things like this

I got myself a new job in a health food shop, where we sell beautiful things like this

I did a course in transcendental meditation, and brought these flowers to my dedication ceremony

I changed my hair up a bit

I changed my hair up a bit

Had a huge amazing Xmas party at mine with my Scouse family

Had a huge amazing Xmas party at mine with my Scouse family

Then I got with this lovely person

Then I got with this lovely person

And lots more besides. Thank you, universe, for a wonderful few months.

November Missions

I haven’t blogged much recently as for the past week I’ve been down in Kent visiting friends and family, and to collect my beloved malamute, Angel, who has now moved in with us. The Kent visit consisted of gorgeous wintry nature walks, train journeys that took us the almost every corner of the county, LOTS of alcohol, a submarine, and copious amounts of smiles and laughter. I’m definitely a Northern girl at heart but nothing can replace the people that I left behind in that little southeasterly corner of England. I’m grateful to everyone for such a magickal 5 days. Pictures to follow!

Forever young

Me with one of the lads I work for. He’s lucky enough to have been given the chance to be a child forever ❤

By mermaidinafishbowl Posted in Love